Prayed Upon: Breaking Free from Therapist Abuse
Prayed Upon is the story of one woman’s escape from the abuse of a respected, church-going psychiatrist. Amy reaches out to Dr. Dolion for help with depression, but instead of providing healing, he leads her down a path of deception and betrayal. His office, which initially feels like a sanctuary, becomes a psychological prison, one from which Amy will have to fight to free herself.
Prayed Upon, a true story depicts Amy’s journey from victim to thriving child of God. Her brutal honesty provides an inside look at the warped beliefs that early abuse instills; beliefs that make adult victims vulnerable to sexual predators. Her story shines a light on the under-reported sexual abuse of adults and ultimately the way victims can gain freedom from the bondage of shame that abuse leaves behind.
Awards
What Readers are Saying about Prayed Upon:
“Amy Nordhues has written a triumph of a book. She takes her reader behind closed doors and makes the experience of being groomed by a predator, painfully real. An important book, beautifully written and profoundly compelling.”
~Analie Shepherd, author of Mending the Shattered Mirror
“An incredible and necessary book. It is deeply ambivalent to read of something so egregious as therapist abuse yet simultaneously feel exhilarated. Amy, with great articulation and skill, recounts the mad, manipulative, and frankly shocking territory she was drawn into by her ‘Man of God’ psychologist. I can’t help but think of Freud and what he’d have to say about his method being employed to exactly execute everything he stood against, namely God being a product of the infantile need for a powerful father figure.
This is an exploration of faith, and part of the book’s power is the breadth of its spectrum: from almost occult, predatory evil towards light, strength, righteousness and meaning.
Amy writes beautifully and informatively. I recommend this book especially for survivors of harmful therapy but also to everyone who has experienced, ‘People were no longer people I trusted.'”
~BC, Admin of Clients Harmed by Therapy Facebook group
“Prayed Upon was a gut-wrenching read from start to finish. It felt like I was holding my breath as her story unfolded. The lies hidden beneath the surface were exposed first. Then, the deeper truths she began to believe and, more importantly, live by as she healed, were also unveiled one at a time. I exhaled deeply as I read the last page.”
~Anna LeBaron, author of The Polygamist’s Daughter: A Memoir
Why I Wrote Prayed Upon
When I originally wrote this story I was writing it for myself. I needed to understand what happened? How was I duped by a predator? Wasn’t I intelligent? Wasn’t I good at reading people? Was there something horribly wrong with me?
This was the biggie: Was I a victim or a participant? I felt compassion for one and sheer hatred for the other so finding the answer was key.
As I watched the story take shape on the pages in front of me, I began to see the bigger picture, the sinister plot unfolding, and I was horrified by what I saw. I realized that I had been groomed, something I thought only applied to young children. I could see that I did not want what took place, but still why couldn’t I leave? How did he hold me captive for so long? Eventually, I got my answer to that too.
In time, I thought about the shame that adult victims carry, and I wondered how many others were suffering in silence, attempting to take their secrets to the grave, something I had planned to do as well. I knew how heavy shame was to carry alone and how devastating that could be over time.
So I decided to rewrite my story. It would no longer be what I needed; rather, it would become what the reader needed. What did they need to hear? What was beneficial to their healing? What would they deem important and interesting? What could I offer them as a result of my experiences?
I had to make sure that I was not using my story to defend myself. That was God’s job. I had to make sure that I was not using it to get back at my abuser. I had to make sure I was not using it for any reason other than to provide hope for other victims and a clearer understanding for those attempting to grasp this abhorrent type of abuse.
This allowed me to step back and look at my entire life. What set me up for this kind of abuse? What was going on in my head that I allowed people to continually take advantage of me? How was I going to heal and keep this from happening again? Would I ever heal? How was I going to forgive myself and show others that they deserve forgiveness as well?
I finally got those answers. Now my story was ready to share with the world. And that is what I offer you now. I hope that you will read my story and be forever changed. I hope you find exactly what you need within its pages.
If you have been victimized, I hope you will have the courage to speak out even if it means sharing with only one person or writing your experience out in your journal or on a social platform anonymously. If you would like to share with me, I would be honored to listen and offer what I can. My email is amy@amynordhues.com.
Most importantly, I hope you will read Prayed Upon and know that you are not alone, you are not at fault and you are deeply loved.
